Konnichi… say wa now?

I finally saw a giant panda! Yes, you read that right and no, I haven’t returned to China. Despite living in the middle kingdom – the home of the panda – for nearly three years, it wasn’t until I arrived in Japan three months ago that I got to experience the wonder of watching a panda take a massive, green shit in it’s own water bowl. God, it was worth the wait.

Yes, it’s been nearly four months since I moved to Tokyo and crapping pandas aside, it’s been quite the experience. I spend the majority of time at work, which, in a lot of ways limits what I can tell you, only that I’m no longer ‘Mr. Pee-Pee’ but am now officially, ‘Mr. Pizza’ to 3-6 year old children. It’s great to no longer be referred to as a form of excrement, but instead, a delicious Italian feast of carbs, cheese and tomato. One of these days, Asia will get to grips with my name and I will die of glorious happiness. I spend about three hours a day, now, commuting to and from work. At first, this was hell on earth for me. Why was God punishing me in such a way? Why was he taking away from my precious Netflix and Xbox time? (Which was obviously so productive.) However, as my stress levels have gradually lowered over the weeks and months, my attitudes towards things and people have also changed. I now try to use that time on the train to study Japanese, at which I’m still awful, or if I’m feeling particularly adventurous intellectually, play Draw Something with strangers. Am I particularly different as a person? No. I still call a spade a spade and I’d still tell Theresa May she was a right rascal for running through those fields of wheat. Yet, I think I’m close to the Peter of 2014 again – inwardly content, a little bit poorer and most importantly, not having to deal with ridiculous shit, every single, living day. Every once in a while, someone will cut across me or walk too slowly because they’re playing Bejewelled and the Mercutio inside me will rise up, placing curses upon houses big and small. Thankfully, this is the exception these days, rather than the norm.

There are many differences between here and China which have seriously contributed to my newly relaxed persona. The main reason being, that almost anywhere you go, it is peacefully quiet. The main avenues are bustling and noisy like anywhere else in the world, but you only have to walk around 5 minutes in Tokyo to find a little peace and quiet and (usually) cute streets and houses. Anybody who knows me well, knows that this would suit my personality perfectly, as there were times where I felt like I just couldn’t escape the noise in China. Another reason is my job. Whilst I officially worked less hours in China, during that time, I was worked to the bone. My schedule is generally a lot better and it gives me time to have a bit of a mental break between classes. There is also, virtually no emphasis on sales which allows me the time to get on with my classes and not have to worry about issues other than teaching. The weather in Tokyo is also considerably better than where I lived before in China. Whilst rainy season is starting, the temperature has generally been around the 25-30 mark for almost the entire time I’ve been here. As the humidity is far lower, I can actually go outside and enjoy myself when it’s sunny. A friend once referred to my old city – Changsha – as feeling like for six months of the year, you were walking through custard. The humidity was so stifling that sweat would exit from orifices you didn’t even know existed. Combine that with considerably less pollution and most days have beautiful blue skies and melting sunsets which would make, even, Ebenezer Scrooge a happy man.

It’s not until you leave somewhere like China that you sometimes realise what you’ve been missing. For example, the pollution, at least in the south of China, never seemed as bad as what is produced in by the media with photoshop etc. and it’s not until you leave that you realise what a real overcast day looks like. Grey, but with a variation of tone and breaks in the cloud. Another thing which you can sometimes take for granted is internet freedom. This is something which I’m going to touch on in a later post, but it’s amazing to be able to use normal websites, applications and social media again. People reading this may think, ‘What a loser’ but try going to China and having many of your civil liberties taken away from you and then tell me how you feel. There were a lot of very good Chinese alternatives but most have little or no English interface and when you’re living abroad, the more familiar tools you have to make life easier, makes such a difference.

I would be lying if I said it’s been easy to get used to living in Japan, however. There are many things that are very different from western culture and many things different from my own expectations. These range from the small and comical to bigger and deeper issues. For example in Japan, many toilets – as well as having all the usual anus cleaning gadgets – have a tiny sink built into the lid of the tank. This is designed in order to save water when flushing the toilet, as the water used to clean your hands is then recycled to clean the toilet bowl afterwards. I, however, am not always the brightest spoon in the set and hadn’t worked this out. Japan is quite a strict and conformist society, which if you ever visit, can be quite intimidating if you don’t know what’s happening. So, for my first week, unsure whether or not it was acceptable to use the kitchen sink to clean my teeth, I instead spent the first seven days flushing the toilet every time I wanted to brush my teeth in order to use the tiny lid sink, before rapidly cleaning my teeth and brush so I didn’t have to flush the bog again. As a result, I probably wasted more water than I saved any and actually ended up breaking every social etiquette rule anyway by gobbing Colgate down the toilet sink. Nearly four months in and I’m pretty comfortable with these kind of things now, but issues do still arise and presumably will still arise for a long time to come. That, however, is on the smaller end of the scale along with other bad habits such as slouching, putting your hands in your pockets, folding your arms or eating/drinking whilst walking or standing up. That last one is an annoying one. This is the 21st century. Sometimes there are simply not enough hours in the day to stop and eat a sandwich.

On the larger end of that scale, there are things you can do which can deeply offend others due to Japan being an honour centred society. I thought I was prepared for this after my experiences in China where I dealt with constant stretching of the truth and saving face, but the level is so much higher here than I ever expected it to be. From my experience so far, Japanese people never say ‘no’. That doesn’t mean they’re saying ‘yes’, however and it can be very hard – as a foreigner – to gauge people’s true emotions and feelings. People will often tell you one thing to protect their reputation but actually mean something totally different. As someone who is foreign to Japanese culture, it can feel deeply offensive when this kind of thing happens, such as making new friends or when trying to date. However, after two years in China, I had begun to work out when others were ‘saving face’ in a social situation, so I try to think in the same way here. Eventually it will become clearer and easier to understand. It’s generally easier to accept in Japan as Japanese people take care of themselves with such grace and dignity most (if not all) of the time as well as being very respectful of others around them.

To finish and summarise the courtesy shown to each other in Japan; one day I was walking through the streets of Shibuya – one of the busiest areas of Tokyo and home to the Scramble Crossing which you will have undoubtedly seen on TV – when I heard the sound of sirens. People began to look around the we saw an ambulance approaching from behind, so naturally people stopped to let it turn off onto a side street. As the ambulance turned at the crossing I was waiting at, the next I heard over the vehicle’s microphone system,

‘Arigatou gozaimasu.’ or, a polite way of saying, thank you very much. I just hope some poor patient wasn’t dying in the back due to politeness and courtesy…