Japan: The Weird, the Weird and the Weirder
Living in Japan, you often come across some rather weird stuff. I’ve written posts before surrounding ‘Chinglish’ so I’m not going to spend too much time talking about the inappropriate use of ‘Engrish/Jinglish’ in Japan, other than to say that it’s also pretty common here. I once read that Japan has the least sex, as a nation, in the entire world. A walk around central Tokyo, however can make you question that theory as seemingly everywhere is screaming ‘Sex, sex, sex!’ And if it’s not, it’s screaming ‘I want, no, need sex, right this minute!’ When you spend time with a lot of Japanese people, however, it’s almost impossible to imagine where the desire for such advertising, manga, services and products comes from. My impression so far is that Japan is a very strict and hard-working society. I saw one job advertisement that stated company employees must complete at least 20 hours overtime per week, however it’s more common that you’re going to do even more than that. When you add that and commuting time together, it leaves very little time for socialising or relaxation and people often cut isolated figures, whether that be when commuting, drinking or eating. The sex industry seems to be a way for men, mainly, to escape that isolation. I did, though, take a walk through a rather strange toy store lately and it contained an entire section of illustrated gay porn, written by women, for women, so the sex industry isn’t simply geared towards men. In pop-culture, whilst young girl-bands in the west often have young, teenage demographics in terms of fans, it’s seemingly not uncommon to see an equal proportion of middle-aged men at concerts here in Japan. Many of which popstars are under the legal age of consent.
This is ‘Condomania’ a seemingly, now famous, landmark in the middle of Harajuku – Tokyo’s centre of indie and hipster fashion. Inside you’ll find many novelty items, such as below – an item which could seemingly come in handy. Get it? Oh, never mind.
Unlike Ronseal, this condom apparently doesn’t do what it says on the tin. How about that horse though? If anybody knows why that’s there, leave me a comment below…
What does Uncle Sam always say kids? Probably not ‘Be Safe’ but that’s good advice anyway. You should take it.
Above, you can see a typical arrangement of ‘informative magazines’ at a Japanese convenience store. Whilst in the UK, it’s also possible to get these kind of magazines at shady stores, usually owned by a creepy bloke named Fred, the attitudes towards them seem to be very different. Magazines such as Big Tits -yes, that’s a real magazine – are usually placed well out of the reach of children and often have some sort of packaging to prevent people reading them. In Japan, that’s usually not the case and it isn’t uncommon to find men perusing their contents in broad daylight, whilst old ladies are shopping for their bread and milk around them.
I was given this coaster, above, with my beer one night. It made me wonder just how sleezy it could get so I placed my Guinness on top of it. It only went and absorbed all of the moisture – filthy bitch.
These particularly horrifying Ronald McDonald dolls were in the unusual toy store I metnioned, above. As well as some girl-targeted porn, you could pick up something such as above to scare your child into a future colossal psychiatry bill. A lot of toys in the store are actually really rare and highly desirable to collectors, even monstrosities such as these. Some products range from hundreds to even thousands of dollars. My knowledge of toys and collectables is practically non-existent but I was ecstatic to see some retro Godzilla figures for sale – basically the only thing in the shop I’d ever heard of. Definitely a place to go if you’re high on meth, however. Think Alice in Wonderland on, well, meth…
When visiting Fuji a few months back, this particular advert really tickled my groin.
‘Let’s climb Mt.Fuji to get a certificate!’
Forget about the views from the top; the beautiful sunrise, the satisfaction of climbing to a height of over 3700m and one of the world’s most iconic mountains. That certificate though. Tell me more…
I encountered this fellow above on my commute one morning and he was fast asleep. Not even just dozing but full scale snoring. Whilst it’s not so common to encounter many Snorlax’ during your commuting time; sleepy working warriors are high in number. This goes back to what I was referring to earlier, where there are simply not enough hours in the day for some workers. Sleep little and often seems to be the motto here and it’s not uncommon for 80-90% of the commuters around you to be dozing off, creating a marijuana meets The Walking Dead sort of atmosphere. Amazingly though, nobody ever seems to sleep past their destination. What witchcraft…
Another feature of not just Japan, but Asia in general, which the west is now slowly, starting to catch up on – via Instagram/Snapchat etc – is what you see above. It’s not uncommon to go out with some friends and take some photos together, only to receive them eight hours later where your face has been replaced by that of a psychedelic squirrel or a snake that’s higher than the summit of Mt. Fuji. Get that certificate by the way. There’s a huge emphasis on ‘kawaii’ (cute) culture in Japan, where the cutest girls with the cutest things are deemed the most fashionable. Therefore, it’s not uncommon to see the desk of a fifty year old woman strewn with Hello Kitty products. Before you ask it, I have seen it. While it would sometimes be nice to get the original photos, I don’t think anyone could argue that I am a dazzling panda with whiskers above, or whatever it’s supposed to be…
